All posts by Fort Collins Mediation

Facebook Infidelity: It’s Time to Fight Back!

One of the leading causes of marital issues in the United States today stem from the use of Facebook by one, or both, parties in a marriage. Statistics indicate that Facebook users are much more likely to engage in relationships, both verbal and physical, outside of their marriage compared to couples who refrain from using the site. Users of the social media platform are also at risk of negative consequences such as addiction to the site, social isolation, and unhappiness in general due to the fact that they may feel that their own lives do not measure up to some of their friends and compatriots on the site. Facebook use also can lead to increased distrust in relationships because it is so much easier to track the activities of one’s partner or any other person of interest.

Read more: Facebook Infidelity: It’s Time to Fight Back!

Bridging Relationship Distress

When it comes to bridging relationship distress, it is important to blame the pattern and not the person. Troubles relationships are usually all about high conflict and high stress. It can also be characterized by disengagement. If you are disengaged, then you may feel safe. But, it eventually becomes erosive and you cannot make a connection with the other person. You may have even come to a point where things seem like they cannot be fixed.

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There Really is a The One-Minute Marriage Cleanse?

There is a one minute marriage cleanse that can help people out a lot. There are so many things that demand attention from couples and they never have time to spend with each other. They have work and kids and that is a lot to juggle every single day. Gone are the days when a couple can go out on a date night. Things are just too hectic now. Relationships get neglected nowadays because of all the busy people.

Key Takeaways:

  • Taking 1 minute out of your day can help your marriage.
  • Thinking about things you like about your partner can help reinforce feelings towards them.
  • Counseling for couples is not widely used by couples because of a lack of time, therefore solutions like the One-Minute Cleanse have formed.

“One of the most common obstacles I find nowadays in trying to do couples counseling is that couples are just too busy with work demands, children’s activities and a gazillion other day to day things that soak up a couple’s time.”

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10 Comics You’ll Relate To If You Think Dating Today Is Total B.S.

Who says that comic books must all have Batman or other villains on it to be a great read? If you are an adult who loves comics but who is also dating in a world of BS dating schemes, there are a few reads that you shouldn’t miss out on grabbing. The list includes the 10 titles here. These are all great comics with storylines you are sure to enjoy and find very relatable, too.

Key Takeaways:

  • 24-year Marcella Stranieri has an Instragram account where she shares funny illustrations about dating struggles
  • Drawing cartoons helps Stranieri deal with the awkwardness and uncomfortable situations of dating
  • Stranieri receives comments from followers that they feel the same way and can connect to her drawings.

“If your relationship status is “single and at this point, I think I’ll just stay that way,” you’ll appreciate Marcella Stranieri’s comics.”

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The Placebo Effect Can Mend Your Broken Heart, Study Suggests

The pain felt during an emotional breakup is actually very similar to physical pain. Researchers tested subjects via photographs of their previous breakup partners as well as providing a jolt of physical pain. The fMRI showed similar locations in the brain active during each test. The subjects were then given a nasal spray placebo and the test was repeated. The placebo group experienced less emotional and physical pain. The takeaway is that one needs to believe that things can and will get better in the future.

Read more: The Placebo Effect Can Mend Your Broken Heart, Study Suggests

How I Learned To Navigate Dating As A Widow

A widow who started dating again only months after losing her husband advises her readers not to make this same mistake. She entered the dating scene to prove her desirability, not because she was ready for a new relationship. She had not yet processed her loss or worked her way through her grief. This widow needed to take time to recover and regain her sense of self. She was physically exhausted from the time she had spent as her late husband’s caregiver. The dating process itself was also exhausting.

Key Takeaways:

  • Deciding, as a widow, if you are even interested, or ready, for dating other people.
  • Have you, as a widow, moved on and coped with your loss in a healthy manner in which you will be able to make a healthy commitment to someone new?
  • Are you aware of what you want out of this new relationship?

“I hear from so many widowed folk who get plenty of love and companionship from friends and family. They don’t want to re-enter the dating fray.”

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How To Take Your Marriage From Sexless To Steamy, In 7 Steps

People who decided to leave their SM are also suffering. Divorce is never an easy option. No one gets married thinking “in 10 years I am going to divorce”. Many have children who will be affected by divorce. While contemplating divorce, their hearts are in pain as they think how the divorce will affect their children. To tell them that sex will solve their problem is nothing more than a slap in the face. Divorce is also painful because of the many years spent with the spouse. Despite the sexlessness and abuse, there usually are a lot of good memories that are difficult to get rid of. Those memories add to the general unease and anxiety associated with leaving.

Key Takeaways:

  • Many couples have issues with sexless relationships and it needs to be addressed with each other.
  • You must both be honest and open with each other in order to try to come up with new ways to rekindle your sex life.
  • Explore new ideas and techniques that may be out of your norm, but be comfortable and willing to do things your partner may be wanting to try.

“According to data scientist Seth Stephens-Davidowitz, the top-searched marriage complaint on Google is “sexless marriage” ― and it only takes a second to stumble upon advice forums, like the Dead Bedrooms board on Reddit.”

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3 Words For Those Who Can’t Cope With Divorce

Nobody ever wants to be divorced. The pain of waking up every day, feeling alone and wondering what the other person is doing can really take an emotion toll on a person. Instead of living your life thinking about the other person and the misery, try to live by three simple words: Enjoy each day. Wake up and think about the positives and find things to do with each day. Your attitude will make everything and help you to get through the divorce.

Key Takeaways:

  • Jackie Pilossoph believes the words “enjoy each day” are especially relevant to those experiencing the throes of divorce.
  • One reader was so distraught by his divorce he called the experience worse than death.
  • Enjoyment is something each one can take an active part in, according to Pilossoph, allowing the divorced person to regain some sense of control.

“I tell newly separated people who are really in the thick of feeling crappy that they should take some time every single day to enjoy something.”

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3 Ways To Prepare Your Life (And Your Heart) For A Divorce

Anyone going through a divorce is one of the most difficult things you can experience. I love that you recommend that you should find a partner you can trust to talk too, sometimes just talking about it, can you make you feel so much better. We also do need to know our rights and to know the correct things to do, will give you the confidence you need. Taking it one day at a time is so important, because we can get so caught up with trying to do so many things, sometimes we do have to just take a step back, take a deep breath and know that we will get through it one day at a time.

Read more: 3 Ways To Prepare Your Life (And Your Heart) For A Divorce

Do You Love Your Kid More Than You Hate Your Ex?

The gist of this article is what the author calls the “one wound” theory. This theory expounds that the parents’ divorce was the only “wound” they wanted to inflict on their children. Thus, their joint choice was to make sure that the kids weren’t wounded by their continued interactions with each other, with and without the kids. They call it “coparenting” and it is probably the one thing that helps to keep the children whole and healthy.

Key Takeaways:

  • Kate Chapman, a Huffington Post Contributor, is a member of a blended family, who believes she did the right thing in staying friendly with her ex.
  • In explaining her peaceful relationship with her ex to her son, Chapman called the divorce the one wound, one that she refused to exacerbate with further hurts.
  • Most importantly, she explained that she and her ex loved him to much to continue to hate each other.

“Filling my head and heart with anger about Billy would cloud the happy memories I have of our marriage, and the beginning of my adventures in motherhood.”

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