Category Archives: Commentary

Do You Love Your Kid More Than You Hate Your Ex?

The gist of this article is what the author calls the “one wound” theory. This theory expounds that the parents’ divorce was the only “wound” they wanted to inflict on their children. Thus, their joint choice was to make sure that the kids weren’t wounded by their continued interactions with each other, with and without the kids. They call it “coparenting” and it is probably the one thing that helps to keep the children whole and healthy.

Key Takeaways:

  • Kate Chapman, a Huffington Post Contributor, is a member of a blended family, who believes she did the right thing in staying friendly with her ex.
  • In explaining her peaceful relationship with her ex to her son, Chapman called the divorce the one wound, one that she refused to exacerbate with further hurts.
  • Most importantly, she explained that she and her ex loved him to much to continue to hate each other.

“Filling my head and heart with anger about Billy would cloud the happy memories I have of our marriage, and the beginning of my adventures in motherhood.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/do-you-love-your-kid-more-than-you-hate-your-ex_us_58fe01fde4b0f02c3870ec7f?section=us_divorce

What Mike Pence Gets Wrong (And Right) About Marriage, From An Infidelity Recovery Expert

Mike Pence’s “never dine alone with a woman” may seem like good marriage advice, but one marriage therapist thinks that it can lead to conflict. The idea of never being alone with another woman is dismissive of all women and makes it difficult for women to succeed in the workforce. It is possible to have friendships with people of the opposite sex without straying into infidelity. In order to avoid infidelity, spouses should be open with one another about their friendships, avoid letting friendships intrude on family time, and identify and address having “feelings” for a friend. At the end of the day, spouses must be able to trust both themselves and their partners and cutting off 50 percent of the population isn’t a sign of trust.

Key Takeaways:

  • Refusing to dine with other women because you are married is discriminatory because it implies that the only thing of interest about a woman is her as a sexual object
  • Different people fulfill different needs in other aspects of your life and are necessary in order to live well rounded
  • If there are feelings involved in a relationship outside of the marriage, then steps should be taken to make sure that it is not taken too far

“If you rule out social interactions with all people of the opposite sex, you are saying that you don’t trust your colleague — or yourself.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/what-vice-president-pence-gets-wrong-and-right-about_us_58e1bd22e4b03c2b30f6a7fc?section=us_divorce

12 Inspiring Quotes From Celebrity Moms And Dads About Co-Parenting

There are 12 very inspiring quotes from celebrity moms and dads about parenting together. Having a kid grow up with two parents that love each other is the ideal situation for any parent. Even when parents separate, they keep their kids happiness in mind and do not the the break up affect them in a bad way. It is a challenge for sure to co parent with someone that you are not in love with, but it can be done.

Key Takeaways:

  • I feel it’s my responsibility as a mom when their dad is not there to let them know that their dad loves them very much
  • We felt like as much togetherness as possible would be ideal, and fortunately we really love each other and are best friends, and so that works.”
  • As people can imagine, it gets rough at times just because we’re not in the same city, but we still love each other and what’s most important is we love our son.

“In magazine interviews and television appearances, the co-parents of Hollywood have made it clear that the experience isn’t always simple and easy, but have also stressed that it is possible to remain a loving family after a separation or divorce.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/quotes-from-celebrity-moms-and-dads-about-co-parenting_us_59384a54e4b0c5a35c9b5f02?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

The Candid, Honest Reasons These Women Called Off Their Engagements

Ever felt trapped after getting engaged, just because that ring was sitting on your finger. Here’s the thing, it I see never too late to say no, ever. These women have told their stories of the times they have broken off their own engagements and the very reasons that led to these decisions. Not every relationship comes out glamorous and beauty once that ring is slipped on, and in most cases some expect it to get better, lets face it, if it was bad before what would make it better after?

Key Takeaways:

  • Broken engagements most commonly happen due to a fear of commitments
  • Some reasons for a broken engagement include substance abuse issues or infidelity
  • A fear of commitment happens when a person is not ready for a mature, healthy relationship

“But she’s not alone; many women and men call off relationships with people they they seriously considered marrying.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/why-women-call-off-engagements_us_591c7ce9e4b094cdba5072fa?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

The One Thing Every Couple Needs To Remember During A Fight

This is very good relationship advice that all of us can use. Every couple argues. None are perfect and none agree all the time. The key is not to let the fights ruin the relationship. There are right and wrong ways to disagree. This gives you one important thing to remember. This could help you keep your relationship healthy so is crucial. Many couples failed because of how they handled their fights and that’s very unfortunate.

Key Takeaways:

  • In a divorce, I once represented a woman who insisted on fighting for her marital bed, which her husband had made and given to her and now wanted back.
  • Finally, I pulled her aside and said, “Do you realize how much money you’re spending fighting over this?”
  • When people are overwhelmed with emotion, they lose all perspective.

“But I push couples to remember the goal: You want a resolution. Instead of focusing on the past, think about what you want the future to look like, and how we can get there.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-one-thing-every-couple-needs-to-remember-during-a-fight_us_59075baae4b0bb2d086fdc5d?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

3 Lies Women Need To Quit Telling Themselves

As women, we try to convince ourselves of certain things even if they are not the truth. One lie we need to stop telling ourselves is that we only deserve certain things after we’ve lost weight. Women need to realize that they are worthy no matter what size or weight they are at. women also need to stop trying to convince themselves that men who treat them badly, love them. Anyone that truly loves you is going to treat you in a good manner. If a man is treating you badly, he does not love you. Lastly, women need to realize that they cannot change a man to make themselves happier.

Key Takeaways:

  • We tend to believe our own thoughts even when they don’t prove themselves to be accurate.
  • There were lies I told myself so often they became a very shaky foundation under an unstable life.
  • Putting off the life you want until you’re different than you are now is an excellent way not to have a life now or ever.

“Love isn’t a lip service kind of thing. No one should ever have to convince you they love you. When someone loves you, you know it because you see it, not because you hear it. Love shows and love shows up.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/3-lies-women-need-to-quit-telling-themselves_us_592f05d9e4b017b267edff69?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

4 Ways To Overcome A Toxic Relationship

Toxicity in a relationship can be hard to deal with but it can also be hard to escape. There are many kinds of toxicity. It’s not always as obvious as you’d think. It doesn’t always involve yelling or physical abuse. This gives four ways to deal with toxicity so you can have healthier relationships. If you can maage this you’l be happier over all. There is a lot of stress involved with having certain people in your life.

Key Takeaways:

  • The first step is to realize that you are in a bad relationship.
  • Another key is to understand that you can do better than the relationship you are currently in.
  • It’s important to get rid of whatever was holding you back with that relationship and to take care of yourself above all else.

“You are deluding yourself and wasting precious time if you are trying to believe that you can somehow still be friends or have a phone relationship with your toxic partner. These people have a way of manipulating and getting others to feel sorry for them.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/4-ways-to-overcome-a-toxic-relationship_us_5922f1e0e4b07617ae4cbdf2?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

9 Strategies To Help Your Children Cope With Divorce

The Strategies given in this article is good to follow every parents who committed to take divorce, the Ideas provided by the writer to make children stronger is very useful for all children who suffering about their parents. Every couple must want to read this article before they take decision about their children after divorce, these nine Strategies make happy family after parents divorce and gives lot of support to the children for their future, every parents want to know about what their children thought about their divorce.

Key Takeaways:

  • Never badmouth your ex, as it is very detrimental to your children’s sense of security.
  • Never use your kids as leverage, or use them as messengers, between you and your ex.
  • Remember to be flexible about little things, while you, your ex, and your kids, are attempting to come up with a new plan and a sense of equilibrium.

“After informing your kids of your split, reassure them that although your marriage is ending, you will continue to be their parents no matter what. Reassuring your children should be an ongoing process, so do it often. Insecurities have a way of sneaking up.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/9-strategies-to-help-your-children-cope-with-divorce_us_592241f6e4b0b28a33f62d8f?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

Divorce Island

Decades back, there was a pretentious show called Fantasy Island, where peculiar things happened to standard individuals. You have similar youngsters. Your ex or spouse is a similar individual, and your neighborhood, family, and companions are a similar neighborhood, family, and companions. The Beginning of a Divorce is set apart by the disintegration of the marriage for one or both sides. Somebody chooses to clear out. All things considered, he or she has been miserable for quite a while and needs another shot.

Key Takeaways:

  • A divorce is not a legal proceeding, but a process undergone by two people that can last for years outside of the court room.
  • Reconstructing a family can be a lot of work as one tries to find out who stays by their side and who will shut them out during this fragile period.
  • It can be difficult to care for one’s own life during a divorce, but parents also need to make sure they are doing well for their children.

“The Beginning of a Divorce is marked by the deterioration of the marriage for one or both parties.”

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-intelligent-divorce/201705/divorce-island

Can You Divorce Your Family?

A psychology journal has an account summarizing an essay recently issued by a professor at a well known university. The professor cites three types of family interactions which are similar to a divorce, as they have the pain associated with the separation. In one type, a member of the family becomes a pariah and is treated with less respect than others. In another type, a divorced parent imprints his or her dislike for the ex-spouse onto the child. The writer who summarizes the article advises that communication is needed to improve these bad relationships.

Key Takeaways:

  • Communication is the key to good family relationships. Unless you express your needs they will not know.
  • Limiting time with family is common. This estrangement is usually due to a lack of communication of needs.
  • Feeling like an outsider or like you are judged differently is a common cause of someone adding distance.

“Marginalized family members are commonly referred to as the “black sheep” of the family.”

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/conscious-communication/201704/can-you-divorce-your-family