Category Archives: Commentary

Ready to start dating again? 15 tips for getting back in the game after divorce – Today.com

Getting back into the dating game can be stressful because you can feel nervous and maybe afraid of failure. You want to make a good impression. If it’s been a while since you’ve dated you may have lost your confidence. This gives good tips for getting back into it and for being a bigger success. All you need to do is be yourself and be confident but these tips should help you to do that.

Key Takeaways:

  • Don’t run your new relationship with the pain left from the previous one. Make sure you are healed.
  • Date around and make sure you are finding the right person. Don’t just pick one and settle.
  • Looks are not everything. Make sure the person has personality and a character you can live with.

“Psychotic optimism is my philosophy on love, which I’m spreading to everyone who will listen.”

Read more: http://www.today.com/health/dating-after-divorce-15-tips-make-it-easier-t107773

What Is the Divorce Rate, Really?

An online version of a psychology journal has a piece about the divorce rate. A 2010 report estimated the rate at about fifty per cent. In 2014, a researcher contended that the rate is actually falling and is expected to be only one third. She cited an economist’s findings. Others have contested her statement as well as the economist’s data. The writer discusses the difficulty in measuring the divorce rate. She guesses that the rate is between 42 and 45 per cent.

Key Takeaways:

  • The idea that half of marriages end in divorce does not have factual support.
  • Projections show that roughly one third of marriages will end in divorce. This is significantly lower than previous thought.
  • The experts do not agree some say the divorce rate is actually increasing.

“It is true that half of all marriages end in divorce or a permanent separation.”

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-single/201702/what-is-the-divorce-rate-really

Divorce Is Probably Just As Painful As Death – YourTango

A blog about relationships has a piece written by a divorced man. The writer compares losing a person to divorce to losing one to death. He acknowledges there is a major difference, as the divorced person is still alive. Nevertheless, he contends the pain is similar, as well as the longing for the other person. He also says he will always have questions about the ex-spouse that he has about a deceased person. The writer includes a photo of himself displaying a snapshot of his children.

Key Takeaways:

  • Divorce is the toughest type of loss a person can go through.
  • Divorce is like grieving the death of someone. Either way you a grieving the loss of someone.
  • Divorce leaves a mental termoil that is hard to overcome.it leaves you confused and sad.

“There are a trillion factors that come into play when you’re going through the pain of divorce, and oftentimes those factors tend to dictate where your mind is at.”

Read more: http://www.yourtango.com/2017299067/why-pain-divorce-just-losing-loved-one

5 Things I Learned About My Husband Since His Death 3 Weeks Ago

May we all be lucky enough o have a mate that never sees nothing wrong. Always looking for the best in every body and in everything. I got married late in life. My now husband is also a person who is kind and lives to please me. I often think how much I would miss him if he should go to be with the Lord before I do. He does everything for me and loves for me to need him. Some women don’t realize that men are wired to be needed. Women who are in a relationship with a man who needs her to need him should be very grateful and less independent. Your independence should be there yes. But we women should be smart enough in our independence to allow our men/man to think we need them. It will allow your relationship to be easier and rewarding to both parties.
One day we are going to wake up and find that our mate is gone and all the little things he/she did that made us smile are gone also. We are going to be left to figure out how to use the remote control to control the rest of our lives without our loved one.
That’s not a good look ladies/gentlemen.

Key Takeaways:

  • I learned my husband had a disaster in his car trunk but always had what he needed.
  • I learned he was a better dad than I thought. He really loved and cared for our children.
  • He did not know how to be sweet but was in his own corny way.

“Being needed ― and appreciated ― is one of the things that keeps a marriage alive.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/5-things-i-learned-about-my-husband-since-his-death-3-weeks-ago_us_5888c0f7e4b0441a8f72147e?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

7 Tell-Tale Signs Your Marriage Is Falling Apart

The following signs may signal that your marriage is collapsing and divorce is imminent. You might be fantasizing about being single. Perhaps you are focusing much more on negative memories over the good ones. Conflicts should always be resolved, but you and your partner might not be able to. If you don’t talk to you partner, that is a big sign. In addition, dismissing their feelings is not good at all. If you are putting in more effort into improving the relationship, then maybe it is time for it to be over. Finally and most importantly, if you cannot be yourself, then what is the point at all?

Key Takeaways:

  • If you find yourself thinking about being single this is a sign your marriage is in trouble.
  • If the bad times out way the good times this will weigh down your marriage.
  • Avoiding talking about feelings leave you both in the dark and undermines your marriage. Communication is key.

“Unfortunately, some marriages begin as fairy dust and end as a hot mess.”

Read more: http://www.yourtango.com/2015284345/7-tell-tale-signs-your-marriage-falling-apart

Try separation first, then see if you want to divorce – The Seattle Times

A big city newspaper publishes a syndicated columnist’s advice to the lovelorn. A woman writes that her husband wants a separation or a divorce. He blamed her for the relationship, and she apologized in order to preserve the peace. He still wants a separation. The columnist advised the woman to agree to a separation first. She feels the time spent might clear the woman’s head, so she might find herself going for a divorce. The columnist is hesitant about the husband as he shows no love, but holds out some hope for reconciliation.

Key Takeaways:

  • I take all the blame in the marriage and my husband doesn’t see to try anymore.
  • Separate is thinking.. Divorce is letting go. You have to think then do whats best for you.
  • You might be happier divorcing. It might be the best long term action.

“If your marriage isn’t as unhealthy as you made it out to be here, then the solitude, focus and clarity permitted by your separation will help you repair your communication from your two different homes.”

Read more: http://www.seattletimes.com/life/try-separation-first-then-see-if-you-want-to-divorce/

How To Love Someone With Opposite Political Views

The article provides an approach for couples to not let political differences between them undermine the health of their romantic relationships. Couples are encouraged to remain objective and separate the character of their spouse or partner from the political party and/or political ideology they affiliate themselves. In addition, readers are encouraged to put boundaries on political discussions with their partners and understand the importance of emphasizing other aspects of their relationships they have command ground.

Key Takeaways:

  • When discussing politics remember being right and winning a debate is not that important.
  • Keep things in the proper priority. A candidate is four a term a partner is for a life time.
  • Your partner is not the cinididate that you don’t like so don’t treat them that way.

“We may not agree on many important national policies, but we agree that loving people and loving each other are more important”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-to-love-someone-with-opposite-political-views_us_58a20ff8e4b0ab2d2b17e73d?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

23 Honest Things People Say After Having Sex

The article explores 23 things people say to their partners after having sexual intercourse. The responses are generated from various Twitter feeds where users shared their thoughts. Some of the responses were crass, humorous and/or inane. The responses show the various ways people interpret sex and their responses to it in the aftermath. The author provided little analysis or feedback to the responses. Instead, she merely listed them with in the body of the published article.

Key Takeaways:

  • People say random things after sex. It is not romantic or hot.
  • Alot of after sex conversation revolves around food. Discussing what to eat is not uncommon
  • Some references refer to humor such as current political reference. Such as election jokes

“You may talk dirty in the moment but once the deed is done, the conversation tends to be considerably less sexy.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/good-sex-but-now-im-hungry_us_58af3616e4b0780bac275dc4?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

My Ex And Me. Together, Unhappy.

An online version of a psychology magazine has a piece written by a woman about her divorce. The woman is in her forties and is remarried. She uses as a starting point her current husband’s declaration of love. She muses about her first marriage, when she was in her twenties, and how it went wrong. She concludes that some of the blame for the marriage falls on her. She realizes she never had enough love for her ex.

Key Takeaways:

  • You can go from an unhappy marriage to a healthy one
  • Even if love exists in a bad marriage, it is suffocated
  • A good second marriage can come from two unhappy in love people

“I don’t condone nor can I forget the details. I don’t even want to, it’s part of my life.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/my-ex-and-me-together-unhappy_us_58b7851ae4b015675cf65c46?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce

3 Toxic Mistakes That Can Tear Young Married Couples Apart

Marriage can be hard when you’re young which is why so many lead to divorce. The percentage is high. There are so many mistakes which can be made. Knowing what they are ahead of time can help you to avoid making them. Three common ones are discussed here. These are three which often break up marriages so should be known of and avoided at all costs if one is to survive. It won’t be easy not to make these but if you pay attention you can stop it.

Key Takeaways:

  • Life is about learning. When your partner makes a mistake allow them to grow.
  • Don’t share your business with everyone especially your parents. Guard the sanctity of your marriage.
  • Relationship change after marriage. Don’t think it will be just like dating. It is not.

“When your partner says or does something that offends you, it’s important not to harp on that mistake in the future.”

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/3-toxic-mistakes-that-can-tear-young-married-couples-apart_us_58de9a50e4b0ba359594aeee?ir=Divorce&utm_hp_ref=divorce