Commentary

Letting Our Love Flow Into the World

February 7, 2020 By Fort Collins Mediation

In order for a couple to really let their creativity show to the world, they need to have a level of cooperation, trust and closeness with one another. One of the most important things in a healthy relationship is that both members share the same amount of power. For example, if one person has to do 95% of the work in a relationship, it will normally fail. You have to be able to work together with your partner as every relationship has it’s ups and downs. There are also seminars and groups that meet to help people with struggling relationships as well.

Key Takeaways:

When you are able to have trust and closeness with another person, it allows your level of creativity to flourish.
Co-creativity is a type of energy that leads to specific actions and risks as you’re looking to build an even stronger relationship.
The key to a healthy relationship is having a healthy balance of power between the two parties as that will lead to greater trust and love.

“We have co-created a relationship that is a holy sanctuary from the harshness that the larger world can often be.”

Why Uncertainty Freaks You Out

February 5, 2020 By Fort Collins Mediation

People get anxiety from uncertainty. Our brain has been conditioned to think of uncertainty as the primary sign of danger. We all have the flight or fight response that has been breed into us. We do better dealing with pain instead of the uncertainty of possible pain. We will suffer more from the uncertainty of the possible pain than from the actual pain. Our brains are always alert to danger 24 hours a day. If we are in a dark parking lot, our brain will stress out and worry about possible dangers. We worry about things all day, every day. It is not good for us to be alert all the time, we will get stressed out or even burnt out. If you are expecting bad things to happen, that will happen. By changing our mind-set to expect both positive and negative experiences equally, our brains will work better. We will live a much better life.

Key Takeaways:

Your brain is hardwired to respond to danger, kicking into safety mode and keeping you safe.
You brain wants to know what is going on, so that it can respond effectively.
Anticipating uncertainty is often worse for many people than anticipating a predictable pain.

“If your brain doesn’t know what’s around the corner, it can’t keep you out of harm’s way.”

Happiness Is Not Always Joyful

February 3, 2020 By Fort Collins Mediation

The American consumer culture has taught us that we should always be happy. That makes us buy and buy more stuff. That leads us to think that we should be in a state of constant happiness. That will cause people to constantly seek out goals of wealth, power and a perfect spouse which they think will give them a perfect life. Unfortunately, that usually causes us to constantly seek more and more. We can never be truly happy if we are constantly chasing a moving goalpost. It will always seem just out of reach. A much better approach is to balance our hedonic well-being and eudaimonia well-being. Eudonimonia well-being is the feeling of having a purpose in life. Hedonic well-being is what we feel when we are happy or content. A balance of these two will let you be happy and have a reason for your life.

Key Takeaways:

A common misconception is that our goal always means to always experience pleasure.
A more balanced life approach will use both hedonic pleasurable feelings and self-actualization of purpose.
Contrasting the highs of hedonic pleasures with eudaimonic well-being will make us the most happy.

“We often scramble after other goals like wealth, power, and the ideal mate, in hopes that we will make this happiness more likely.”

We Broke Up, but We Still Work Together

January 21, 2020 By Fort Collins Mediation

The majority of participants in a study were asked what happened when they dated coworkers. Some went as far as having to quit their jobs because they just couldn’t deal with their emotions having to work with the other person everyday. Some participants were uncomfortable but still able to keep a lid on their anger. And for some, far fewer participants, they said that they were able to work through their feelings and work together. Dating a coworker is risky, and if you aren’t planning to spend your life with them, the outcome will be similar to the studied participants.

Key Takeaways:

Most people that date their coworkers end up breaking up as workplace romances usually end negatively.
Workplace romances usually fail due to distance, loss of interest and/or mistakes made by a partner.
If you are involved in a workplace romance, realize the risks and outcomes that are entirely possible as it affects not just your relationship but also your workplace.

“If you marry one person in your life but date many before marriage, the odds are not in favor of your workplace romance success”

8 Ways to Make Your Life Better: The Basics of Gina School

January 19, 2020 By Fort Collins Mediation

There are eight ways to make your life a little better. They are very simple to follow and not something we would normally think of in everyday life. One of the eight ways is something everybody can do. You can make someone feel valued and like they matter. To set someone on a pedestal and make them feel important is a great character trait to have. Anybody can hurt someones feelings. You don’t have to be clever or witty to cause that type of harm.

Key Takeaways:

Learn the names of people that you interact with on a daily basis.
If you think someone else needs help, step up and help them. The worst thing that can happen is they don’t take your help.
Don’t let the future get in the way of your present day experiences. Enjoy life now.

“Learn the names of everybody you deal with on a regular basis and your life will be immeasurably better.”

16 Ways to Hold that Tension

January 17, 2020 By Fort Collins Mediation

You can hold on to and love yourself while loving someone else with all that you are. You can disagree but have respect at the same time for example. There is power in vulnerability, you are opening yourself up fully to your partner while holding strong to who you are. It is not considered weak to show the vulnerable side of you, it doesn’t mean you are giving your strength away. You can make yourself stand firm while loving someone if you do it right.

Key Takeaways:

In order to really love, we need to become more authentic versions of ourselves.
It’s important to realize you can be powerful and also vulnerable at the same time.
We can’t be a capable lover until we love ourselves first and invest time and energy into our relationship with ourselves.

“To become a more loving person, it is necessary to find out what is really true about love from our own experience, not from what has been handed to us, or from the beliefs that we may have picked up along the way.”

Self-Scrutiny and Bipolar Disorder: A Unique Necessity

January 15, 2020 By Fort Collins Mediation

People with bipolar disorder often struggle to balance self-monitoring with spontaneity. To live with bipolar disorder necessitates ongoing self-observation and self-monitoring. Those without psychiatric disorders can live through the ebb and flow of various mood states, but bipolar individuals must remain attuned to every subtle mood shift. But how does one live in a state of constant self-observation while maintaining spontaneity towards life? There’s no easy answer. The challenges of life require adaptation. This is true not only among the bipolar, but among anyone facing difficult realities in life.

Key Takeaways:

Living with psychiatric disorders like bi-polar can cause people to behave very differently to medication and treatment.
Part of living with bi-polar is the need for constant reevaluation and tweaking of treatment to maintain best state of mind.
Certain disorders like bi-polar are best thought of as life-long challenges and not something to be cured.

“Group member two had a long history of rapid cycling where she’d experience significant mood shifts every two to three months. The roller-coaster moods were getting worse.”

Three Tips for Living a Mighty Life

January 13, 2020 By Fort Collins Mediation

If you really want to live a great life, there are some things that you can do to help. First, make a space in your home where you can just go to and deal with any issue you’re facing in life. Whether it be a man cave, a theatre room, or a stress room, it is important to have a space where you can just unwind. Next, instead of comparing yourself to others, start making friends and networking to build yourself a support system. Finally, make sure you think before you act this way you are fully confident in your decisions in life.

Key Takeaways:

Discomfort is the byproduct of pursuing things that matter to you, so don’t try to avoid it completely.
Understand that your critical inner thoughts are trying to help you.
Quality relationships predict physical and emotional health, so reach out and make connections to others.

“Sometimes trying to change thoughts can be helpful (e.g., reviewing the evidence that most of my talks receive positive feedback), but the inner critic always finds something to latch on to—remember, it’s just doing its job, trying to be helpful.”

Take Charge of Your Own Leadership Development

January 11, 2020 By Fort Collins Mediation

When it comes to being a leader, there are a ton of things a person can do to help development and take charge of their skills. First, you have to want to be a better leader and choose some goals to work on. To be a great leader means to be a great communicator and decision maker. You want your decisions to be as effective and as efficient as possible. You also want to have great communication skills to be able to help motivate others. Ethics and morals are also important in terms of being a leader if you want people to follow you.

Key Takeaways:

You should set some developmental goals that are focused on improving your own essential leadership style.
One of the most important roles of being a leader is decision-making, so here are some possible ways of improving yours.
You can also aim to improve other areas, such as charisma or ethics.

“In choosing your goals, it is essential to consider their effects on others as well as on bottom lines, as you learn to deal with people successfully rather than indifferently or poorly. Resolve to work on interpersonal skills, and then get more specific.”

Are Women From Venus and Men From Mars?

December 29, 2019 By Fort Collins Mediation

Men and women have distinctive biological differences, such as the ability to bear children, and physical strength. Many women have more social and empathetic traits than men, and this can affect the way their respective companies are run, when women are in leadership positions. A study showed that as women gain power and achieve high-ranking positions, the company places more emphasis on social issues such as climate change and equality. However, this tendency was thought by researchers to be a result of the early environments and standards the women were exposed to, not a biological trait.

Key Takeaways:

Two women have recently rose to power in the European Union, both of them championing social causes.
Women in business tend to see the big picture, taking in key issue and the larger social framework in which it resides.
While there is little difference in the competencies of men and women, women tend to display more empathy than men.

“Research into the psychological differences and leadership behavior of men and women suggests something else is at work.”