Commentary

16 Ways to Hold that Tension

January 17, 2020 By Fort Collins Mediation

You can hold on to and love yourself while loving someone else with all that you are. You can disagree but have respect at the same time for example. There is power in vulnerability, you are opening yourself up fully to your partner while holding strong to who you are. It is not considered weak to show the vulnerable side of you, it doesn’t mean you are giving your strength away. You can make yourself stand firm while loving someone if you do it right.

Key Takeaways:

In order to really love, we need to become more authentic versions of ourselves.
It’s important to realize you can be powerful and also vulnerable at the same time.
We can’t be a capable lover until we love ourselves first and invest time and energy into our relationship with ourselves.

“To become a more loving person, it is necessary to find out what is really true about love from our own experience, not from what has been handed to us, or from the beliefs that we may have picked up along the way.”

Self-Scrutiny and Bipolar Disorder: A Unique Necessity

January 15, 2020 By Fort Collins Mediation

People with bipolar disorder often struggle to balance self-monitoring with spontaneity. To live with bipolar disorder necessitates ongoing self-observation and self-monitoring. Those without psychiatric disorders can live through the ebb and flow of various mood states, but bipolar individuals must remain attuned to every subtle mood shift. But how does one live in a state of constant self-observation while maintaining spontaneity towards life? There’s no easy answer. The challenges of life require adaptation. This is true not only among the bipolar, but among anyone facing difficult realities in life.

Key Takeaways:

Living with psychiatric disorders like bi-polar can cause people to behave very differently to medication and treatment.
Part of living with bi-polar is the need for constant reevaluation and tweaking of treatment to maintain best state of mind.
Certain disorders like bi-polar are best thought of as life-long challenges and not something to be cured.

“Group member two had a long history of rapid cycling where she’d experience significant mood shifts every two to three months. The roller-coaster moods were getting worse.”

Three Tips for Living a Mighty Life

January 13, 2020 By Fort Collins Mediation

If you really want to live a great life, there are some things that you can do to help. First, make a space in your home where you can just go to and deal with any issue you’re facing in life. Whether it be a man cave, a theatre room, or a stress room, it is important to have a space where you can just unwind. Next, instead of comparing yourself to others, start making friends and networking to build yourself a support system. Finally, make sure you think before you act this way you are fully confident in your decisions in life.

Key Takeaways:

Discomfort is the byproduct of pursuing things that matter to you, so don’t try to avoid it completely.
Understand that your critical inner thoughts are trying to help you.
Quality relationships predict physical and emotional health, so reach out and make connections to others.

“Sometimes trying to change thoughts can be helpful (e.g., reviewing the evidence that most of my talks receive positive feedback), but the inner critic always finds something to latch on to—remember, it’s just doing its job, trying to be helpful.”

Take Charge of Your Own Leadership Development

January 11, 2020 By Fort Collins Mediation

When it comes to being a leader, there are a ton of things a person can do to help development and take charge of their skills. First, you have to want to be a better leader and choose some goals to work on. To be a great leader means to be a great communicator and decision maker. You want your decisions to be as effective and as efficient as possible. You also want to have great communication skills to be able to help motivate others. Ethics and morals are also important in terms of being a leader if you want people to follow you.

Key Takeaways:

You should set some developmental goals that are focused on improving your own essential leadership style.
One of the most important roles of being a leader is decision-making, so here are some possible ways of improving yours.
You can also aim to improve other areas, such as charisma or ethics.

“In choosing your goals, it is essential to consider their effects on others as well as on bottom lines, as you learn to deal with people successfully rather than indifferently or poorly. Resolve to work on interpersonal skills, and then get more specific.”

Are Women From Venus and Men From Mars?

December 29, 2019 By Fort Collins Mediation

Men and women have distinctive biological differences, such as the ability to bear children, and physical strength. Many women have more social and empathetic traits than men, and this can affect the way their respective companies are run, when women are in leadership positions. A study showed that as women gain power and achieve high-ranking positions, the company places more emphasis on social issues such as climate change and equality. However, this tendency was thought by researchers to be a result of the early environments and standards the women were exposed to, not a biological trait.

Key Takeaways:

Two women have recently rose to power in the European Union, both of them championing social causes.
Women in business tend to see the big picture, taking in key issue and the larger social framework in which it resides.
While there is little difference in the competencies of men and women, women tend to display more empathy than men.

“Research into the psychological differences and leadership behavior of men and women suggests something else is at work.”

Divided We Fall

December 27, 2019 By Fort Collins Mediation

There is a basic human need to qualify and quantify ourselves according to a group identity. Our interpretation of events and focus is on ourselves first, and then ourselves in relation to our groups. Psychopaths have much more focus on self, and empathetic individuals focus more on the groups. After a traumatic event, people occasionally find less need to focus on their group identity, and focus more on themselves and a few loved ones. Few people worldwide have this awakening, and most still have a need for group identity.

Key Takeaways:

People tend to divide themselves into groups as a means to foster an identity.
The need to form an identity stems from ego-separateness, or the sense that we’re enclosed in our own bodies.
By rising above our ego-separateness, we can avoid the conflicts that inevitably arise when we try to group ourselves.

“Most conflicts in history have been fought between groups who define themselves as different to one another, due to religion, ethnicity, or political beliefs.”

Should You Be Considering a Sleep Divorce?

December 25, 2019 By Fort Collins Mediation

Couples in relationships are expected by society to sleep together in the same bed, but this was not the norm until recently. A new study showed that there are benefits from sleeping in separate beds. Sleep apnea, different temperature preferences, excessive movement, and snoring are among the problems faced by couples sharing beds. Individual beds can solve these problems. Women are affected more than men than these problems, and researchers demonstrated that it’s possible to have a healthy and happy relationship with separate beds.

Key Takeaways:

Couples sleeping together in the same bed is expected in our society, and depicted by the media as a happy relationship.
In a recent study, researchers discovered that some couple’s relationships were improved by sleeping apart, in separate beds.
Disorders like snoring, sleep apnea, or different sleep schedules can greatly reduce the quality of life for both partners.

“That is, couples report better sleep quality when they shared a bed compared with when they slept alone, even when the objective measures of sleep suggested something else.”

Yes, That’s My Daughter And She Has Short Hair. No, She’s Not A Boy. Leave Her Alone.

December 13, 2019 By Fort Collins Mediation

When your 5-year-old daughter wants her hair cut short she isn’t making a statement, she is simply stating a preference. Short hair feels better. Yet in our gender obsessed culture it seams more natural that a 5-year-old with a short haircut is a boy dressing in girls clothing than the opposite. A girl choosing a short haircut. Is it okay that our society mistakes young girls for boys if they choose a short haircut? Not really. It also isn’t right that the girl who wants a boys haircut can’t get one at a barber shop, simply because they don’t cut girls hair.

Key Takeaways:

A child’s hair should not be what causes stares and causes interest in strangers.
Little girl should not be discriminated at when going to the barbers, but she is.
Having an unhealthy preoccupation with gender is not okay, and especially not when directed at children.

“That, friends, is my daughter. She hears your questions and feels your stares. She’s not a that. She’s a 5-year-old human.”

Want To Save Money? Buy Your Groceries More Often.

December 9, 2019 By Fort Collins Mediation

In today’s struggling economy, everyone is looking for a way to save money wherever they can. One should look to their grocery shopping as a way to trim money from their expenses. Americans often purchase more food than needed, throwing away 1,500 dollars each year in food waste. To save money, one should increase their grocery shopping and buy fresh food which will help you maintain healthier eating habits. stop producing too much food waste, and also lower the mount you spend on groceries.

Key Takeaways:

Raising the frequency you shop for groceries saves a person money.
Planning meals and using substitutions are two ways to reduce the amount of food you throw away.
Buying only what you need will result in healthier eating habits.

“We simply buy more food than we need, and shopping for fresh food more often can help stop that.”

Silence of the Klaw: Trauma and Emotional Processing

November 27, 2019 By Fort Collins Mediation

In this life, most of us will experience some form of trauma. However when this happens can affect us more then what happens. The example was of Kawhi and his father who was murdered when Kawhi was only 16. If someone experiences trauma as a child or young person, the affects can last throughout adulthood. One that experiences trauma at a young age may have difficulty showing emotions to various situations in general. Usually they don’t give any sign of happy or sad but a dazed and confused reaction. More research needs to be done on overcoming childhood trauma.

Key Takeaways:

LA Clippers basketball star Kawhi “The Klaw” Leonard won a tense, high-adrenaline game for his team, but fans focused on his apparent lack of excitement or elation over his high-profile moment.
Traumatic experiences — like the murder of Kawhi’s father when he was a teen — can make the brain less responsive to positive stimuli.
People exposed to trauma in their youth often have more difficulty dealing with emotional conflict.

“You can’t tell if he just won a playoff atmosphere battle or just ate a decent bowl of cereal.”