Commentary

Marriages end and usually with good reason. And, while most would admit that they are better off with the knot untied, some do find that even if the marriage was de-raveling to the point of being quite bad, even if it just wasn’t worth the work going into it any more, that they still miss having that other familiar person around.

We are all creatures of habit. And when we have spent large chunks of time, decades even, or more, seeing the same person, existing in the same space with that individual year after year, often while doing things together, frequently automatically, and by a short-hand developed by the simple act of cohabitation over long years, it really is no wonder that a split causes a sense of rupture. In such cases, loneliness is likely to ensue, even if it is the loss of tradition and the comfort of sameness that is truly being mourned. These longings come into our minds dressed in the guise of the missing person, even though we realistically know how much better we are without him, or her.

Key Takeaways:

• Serge Bielanko has found bright spots since separating from his wife but loneliness plagues him.
• He doesn’t miss the arguments but he misses settling down on the couch with her at the end of the day.
• He knows that eventually there might be someone else that will step in and take her place but he is not ready for it yet.

“There are nights when I stand in the middle of my kitchen in this old house I’ve rented, stare at the juice-stained couch sitting there like a battleship parked in front of the TV a room away, and wonder what the heck she’s doing at that exact moment.”

Read more: https://www.yourtango.com/2014225740/how-deal-with-loneliness-when-your-marriage-ends

When someone takes up so much of your life, it’s impossible to get over them in a day or two expecially with your ex with whom you have in a long relationship.A question arises from time to time in your mind as to how you will move on without him. in the beginning its hard to accept but over a period of time getting your self busy will make up for the loss.When there’s no chance of rekindling the romance you once had, sometimes you’re left with only one choice Move on, change your frame of mind and forget about him.he no longer exists in your life so kick him out.change your thoughts to something fun, relaxing and/or positive. You are in control, and you’re choosing positivity.meet your friends ,near and dear ones but dont discuss about your ex, if they do so just ignore and change the topic.keep your self busy if he calls up dont answer and erase his number from your phone.dont move or pass by his house.if you need to feel beeter its good to go for counseling, do excercise, cycling go shopping with friends or hiking to keep yourself going and busy.

Key Takeaways:

• To get rid of unwanted thoughts, visualize a door in your mind that slams shut on them.
• Distract yourself from painful thoughts about your ex by imagining something fun to do.
• Expel your ex from your mind by refusing to check out his social media posts, or receive updates about him from friends.

“Our minds are so incredibly powerful that you can control your thinking, even when you think you can’t.”

Read more: https://www.yourtango.com/2015279371/how-get-over-your-ex-good-these-10-post-breakup-tips

After being married for years, it’s strange to think of being alone.just because one recently gotten divorced doesn’t mean your life is over. However, when asked what is your greatest during and after a divorce, women often answer loneliness as a a single word.You’re used to someone always being there. You and your ex had a certain routine. You depended upon each other for certain things, such as taking the trash out, doing the laundry or getting the oil changed. Maybe you enjoyed Sunday morning pancakes or watching your favorite show together on Thursday nights. You can’t bear the thought of being alone in a silent house.post divorce can also be termed as chronic lonliness.redirect your thoughts by keeping your self busy make new friends get involved in new things go out with friends on a leisure trip rather than sit alone and fell lonely.dont dwell on the past for too long. Ask yourself what you can appreciate about being alone. you really like sleeping in middle of the bed or having the entire closet all to yourself. You can come and go without answering to anyone. You can do whatever you feel like when you want to, without being questioned. Take a long road trip and see the sites you’ve always wanted to see.Its your life. You can live it as you please.You can come and go without answering to anyone.

Key Takeaways:

• Redirect your negative thoughts and make a choice to think and believe more positively.
• Do not focus too much on the good times you once had with your ex.
• Get involved in activities and go to social gatherings where you can meet new people.

“Just because you’ve recently gotten divorced doesn’t mean your life is over.”

Read more: https://www.yourtango.com/experts/cindy-holbrook/how-deal-with-loneliness-how-be-comfortable-alone-post-divorce

Is it normal to still miss your ex even though you have a new boyfriend and you love him. lots of doubts about whether or not you made the right decision to let go of a relationship. Even years down the road, you might still find your mind drifting back to what might have been.tons of tears ,hurt feelings ,anger, depression and lots of doubts coming to your mind.To me one person cannot replace another. If you had a relationship breakdown you will know that in many cases you do not stop having feeling for that person or indeed find them sexually unattractive.you feel lonely at times very boring to move further in life. If you’re only thinking of him while you’re all doom-and-gloom, don’t dial him up. There’s nothing lonelier than being in the wrong relationship.You’re afraid he’s the best you’ll ever find since you were in a long relationship with him.At times may be you are afraid to go back out there and face rejection from other men, or have to start fresh in the dating world which may be difficult in the beginning But you should do it anyway. A relationship must make you feel happy and safe, and if you broke up with your ex, there’s likely a reason it wasn’t doing that for you.

Key Takeaways:

• Most people think about their exes when they are lonely, but they should remember the times they felt lonely while they were in the relationship.
• Sometimes people are afraid their ex is the best mate they will ever find and they will never do better.
• It often feels easier to rekindle an old flame rather than going out and finding someone new.

“If you’re starting to consider the idea of maybe reaching out to your ex to rekindle, pause first and consider ways for how to move on.”

Read more: https://www.yourtango.com/2015278173/four-reasons-you-think-about-your-ex-and-how-move-on-from-them

It is normal to be upset, mad and hurt after break-ups especially if it’s a third party issue. And you’d probably be mad for a long time. But if you stay mad you’d only stress yourself and you’d only make your world smaller. You have to accept that the relationship is over and don’t even try to pick up the pieces because you’d only hurt yourself. Acceptance is the first step to moving on and getting over that stupid ex, so its time for you to make that first step.relation breakups are common due to many reasons.after a breakup one needs time to think and look all over again starting a new life and totally forgetting your ex which is hard as memories of your relations keep coming to your mind. sleepless nights, disturbing facts gives you a let of stress. sit down relax and write down a list of Bs emotions.than prepare all the bad qualities list.dont start dating or getting into a relation immediately take some time to thinkover before going for a dating or starting a new relationship.Make a cause and effect type list, like historians do for the onset. He/she said this, which made me feel like this, which is why we broke up. While you’ve probably talked this into the ground, it sometimes helps to see it in writing.wear a rubber band on your wrist it is a sort of therapy.

Key Takeaways:

• Make a list of your ex’s bad qualities, both the major bad qualities and the minor ones.
• Write about how your ex made you feel during the lowest points in you relationship.
• Don’t date anyone new right away; the new person could turn out to be worse than your ex, which makes your ex look good.

“Instead of wallowing, here’s how to get over your ex for good. And it all starts with removing him from your life and forgetting about your relationship.”

Read more: https://www.yourtango.com/200946306/how-get-over-your-ex-and-get-them-out-your-system-forever

When a relationship ends, there’s usually a grieving period. The length and intensity of this time varies, depending on how invested you were in your partner and the future of your relationship particularly whether you were dating for a few months or married for several years. Whose decision it was to part ways also plays a big role.Breakups canbe harmful and disasterous at times, After sharing a significant chunk of your life with someone, it makes sense that they’d remain perpetually in your thoughts, at least in some capacity.things keep coming up to your mind and reminding you your past.It can be difficult to know the signs you’re in love with him or if you even have a chance of getting over that ex.You have no interest in that hot dude giving you the eye.You have no interest in that hot dude giving you the eye.you are overcompensating, Your still cyberstalk him in addition to all of his friends and relatives.you compare everyone with him.Try chatting up a new guy. You never know what could happen. You are unable to forget and let go of your relationship memories which keep haunting you. harboring the secret fantasy that the two of you still have a future together and still intimate.If you’ve recently broken up, you can’t be intimate and expect that you won’t remain emotionally involved.Sleeping with an ex isn’t always a terrible idea, but it usually is.

Key Takeaways:

• You may still be in love with your ex- if every song you hear reminds you of your time together.
• You overcompensate by dressing up all of the time in the hope that you will happen to run into him.
• You’re definitely not over your ex- if you are still stalking him, as well as his family and friends, on social media.

“It can be difficult to know the signs you’re in love with him or if you even have a chance of getting over that ex.”

Read more: https://www.yourtango.com/201057071/10-signs-youre-not-over-him

Being faced with the undeniable truth that someone you love does not feel the same way can be quite a grueling reality to come into contact with. However, allowing yourself to come to terms with the reality that’s in front of you will give help you start the healing process that is required to move on. There isn’t any way to healthily convince another individual to love you, and believing that this is possible is setting yourself up for definite heartbreak.

Key Takeaways:

• Unrequited love unleashed a diverse flurry of negative emotions, often a mix of inadequacy, sadness, frustration and confusion.
• Many people grappling with unrequited love will try to talk themselves into thinking that making some kind of change to themselves would make the other person love them.
• Ultimately, no change you make can force someone to fall in love with you, and you’re probably better off accepting the situation and moving on.

“You recall your exchanges over and over in your mind. Where did it go wrong or fail to go right? What should you have done that you didn’t? What did you do that you shouldn’t have?”

Read more: https://www.yourtango.com/experts/susan-elliott/when-person-you-love-doesnt-love-you

The unfortunate truth surrounding divorce includes the financial impact it will eventually have on you and your family. There are several essential steps to take before you proceed with your divorce, and many of those steps include economic endeavors. Make sure you have come to terms with the realization that you will probably not be as financially secure as you were before so that you can properly prepare for the situation. Also remember that even with court mediation, the economic aspects of divorce often bring out the worst in people.

Key Takeaways:

• It is very hard but very important to remain coolheaded and realistic about the divorce process and avoid wasting time, money and stress on unsinkable or futile battles.
• In most cases, both of the ex-spouses will wind up less well-off financially than before, because assets get divided and both parties have to pay their lawyers.
• Just as with any other service provider, it can be very useful to try to negotiate lower rates or better payment terms with your divorce attorneys.

“Divorce is hugely stressful, with money being a central player orchestrating most of the drama. But the best way for how to get over a divorce and come out debt-free is to learn how to save money and be smart about your choices.”

Read more: https://www.yourtango.com/experts/laura-miolla/how-get-over-divorce-do-not-get-one-until-done-seven-things-with-your-money

It is surprisingly common for people, especially women, to suffer some kind of mild but unmistakable physical ailment prior to marrying someone they really shouldn’t be marrying. These people often look back and regret not heeding their body instead of their conscious belief that they need to get married. The symptoms can vary widely, from panic attacks to pain to mysterious loss of motor skills, but the basic conclusion is the same: if your body is telling you not to marry him, you really should listen to it. Your brain can lie to you, but your body cannot.

Key Takeaways:

• People often ignore their bodies when it gives them warning signs that a relationship is not right. They should know that the body never lies.
• Some of the ways the body uses to get your attention about a wrong relationship might be through panic attacks or problems in the throat.
• People who experience physical ailments and believe this is related to problems in their relationship should seek professional help.

“Your body holds the truth but you have to get your head quiet to hear it.”

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/contemplating-divorce/201806/in-deciding-whether-marry-or-divorce-listen-your-body

Emotional intimacy is something that most people really want, but many people aren’t ever really taught how to develop or cultivate. Emotional intimacy thrives on respect, trustworthiness and supportiveness. Curiosity, although less obvious, can also be important to getting to really know your partner. You also need to learn how to open yourself up to the other person, which can mean feeling vulnerable, but also requires you to trust and accept yourself and express your feelings more sincerely and deeply than you might be used to.

Key Takeaways:

• The two persons involved in an emotionally intimate relationship need to create a safe space where they can be comfortable in showing their vulnerable sides.
• The safe space needed for this relationship is established with respect and trust. Respect shows your partner you care and makes trust to develop.
• Your partner also needs support in this relationship and this might involve just listening and confirming his or her experience rather than trying to solve the problem.

“The feeling of being emotionally intimate with someone occurs when you believe that a person deeply knows, understands, and accepts you for being who you really are.”

Read more: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/living-forward/201806/do-you-know-how-build-intimate-bond-your-partner