All of us have experienced a situation in which a toddler is caught doing something bad, and then proceeds to blame someone else or hide to avoid punishment. It is actually quite common to see these toddler-like behaviors being used by adults as coping mechanisms. Many of us can find ourselves pointing the finger at others and wanting them to take the blame. This is especially true in romantic relationships. It isn’t atypical for us to hide from confrontation either.
- Avoidance in adults is seen in a different manner. We typically overwork or participate in excessive habits such as drinking in order to avoid our reality.
- When someone feels vulnerable, blaming another party is a way to transfer that sense of vulnerability and pain onto someone else.
- Another toddler coping mechanism is to believing that if you make someone else feel like they are unworthy, then they will appreciate you even more.
“Coping mechanisms are generally conscious; we’re aware that we’re blaming, denying responsibility, or avoiding the issue, although we usually begin to do so by habit.”